An Exchange of Messages

Summary: A series of electronic messages between Tater and one of her past wards. Or: In order for you to change, your future devours your present devours your past.

Author's Notes and Warnings:

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To: tater.tot@alumail.com

From: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

Subject: weird dreams I guess

Hey Mx Tater,

you said that we should message you if we need help with getting used to living on our own, and I dunno if this qualifies, but i figured it’s better to be safe than sorry. Is it normal to have really weird dreams after people get out of the orbs? Am I catching a fever or something?

- Rad Red (it/its) (X564?? i dont know if that matters)

PS I’m the guy you released like two weeks ago I live outside of bhaddu now I sent this from a library I broke into I’ll be back tomorrow bye

— 🍎 —

To: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

From: tater.tot@alumail.com

Subject: Re: weird dreams I guess

Hello Rad!

I do remember you! You were in my nutrition prep course, right?

I’m not sure I’m the right person to write to about this, though. Perhaps you should try one of the Project XERO’s psychologists?

Also, please don’t break into the library. It is public and you are allowed to use the computers there for free!

~ Tater 🥔❤️

— 🍐 —

To: tater.tot@alumail.com

From: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

Subject: Re: Re: weird dreams I guess

Well no the thing is, I’m having a bunch of weird dreams about food! So I figured you’re the food expert! Also maybe it might be something to look into and do science about? if youre interested.

- Rad Red

PS no longer breaking into the library i just hang out here now a lot

— 🍊 —

To: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

From: tater.tot@alumail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: weird dreams I guess

Hello Rad,

you know what, food dreams might be up my alley, but if not, I can always redirect you to some other folks I know who might know more! It might be some specific food craving, different Xeros are built for different conditions and sometimes our ancestors’ instincts kick in and that manifests as an impulse to seek out food natural to our environment. Could it maybe be that? Lay it on me!

~ Tater 🥔❤️

PS: I’m glad you’re no longer breaking into the library! Good on you :]

— 🍉 —

To: tater.tot@alumail.com

From: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: weird dreams I guess

okay so i dunno if the instinct thing is what’s happening? I eat pretty good out here. Find a lotta scraps in the desert that I sell, there’s good food in it if you don’t slack. 

But my last dream, or, the last one I can remember? was about eating one of those funky mushrooms that can change our appearance that the scientists told us about. The one that can color your teeth? Sugar.. something. I’d eat a bunch and then I guess see myself in the mirror or something? I just remember seeing my teeth turn this dark blue color.

— 🍄‍🟫 —

To: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

From: tater.tot@alumail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: weird dreams I guess

Hello Rad,

sorry, what do you mean “scraps”?? The point of the programs you participated in before your release was to avoid Xeros having to do that, there should be plenty of base level entry job opportunities! Are you doing okay? Do you have somewhere to live? Do you not have a sponsor helping you??

~ Tater 🥔❤️

— 🍇 —

To: tater.tot@alumail.com

From: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: weird dreams I guess

Hi Mx Tater, yeah I live a bit outside of B’Haddu now! Don’t worry about me, I’m not rich or anything but I’m not starving, and hey someone’s gotta keep the desert clean right? There’s all sorts of junk out here! Fossils, sometimes, even! So no worries about me, yeah? I’m doin good :]

Had another weird dream tonight, but this time I ate a bunch of those spiraly bean pods? Didn’t even pop them open, just crunched right through em, and then I sprouted a long, LONG thin tail, it looked kinda like it hatched from my current tail honestly. I have a short tuft of a tail, you see? It looked like it, I dunno, bloomed.

It was frankly pretty cool, just also weird.

Does that happen to people who grow new tails? It’s very pretty.

- Rad Red

— 🫘 —

To: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

From: tater.tot@alumail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: weird dreams I guess

Hi Rad,

I am still somewhat concerned about your living conditions, but I suppose some Xeros do choose to “rough it out in the wilderness”, so to speak. If it works for you, I won’t judge, but it does make me think maybe your dreams are the result of high stress or malnutrition, or even both. Dreaming about mutations caused by food is quite unusual. I don’t even know if any Glitched folks reported dreams about their mutations…

If you could do me a favor, look up the food pyramid I showed in my classes, see if you’re eating everything on there, alright? If you’re not eating properly, that will be an easy case closed.

~ Tater 🥔❤️

— 🍓 —

To: tater.tot@alumail.com

From: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: weird dreams I guess

right so I looked up the food pyramid and idk I think I’m covered. I’m eating plenty! BUT I’ve been using the library to actually read books here, and I looked up what Glitched means and???? Why did nobody tell me this?? THat’s so cool? You can just add things to yourself! These xeros all look sick as hell!

I’ve also been looking at some encyclopedias so I can now proudly tell you that this time I had a dream that consisted of me eating: about seventeen Ru Berries! I looked ridiculous obviously, but it was kind of amazing? I already have a set of antennae, but now I had so many, and it felt like.. like it heightened all my senses in all directions? Imagine never having a blind spot again! That’s what it was!!

You know, I really don’t think it’s the stress. Sure, there’s the occasional sandstorm, but I honestly had weird dreams and feelings before I moved here too. That’s why I didn’t find a better job, either, it always feels wrong. I always feel wrong. It’s hard to talk to people normal when there’s nothing that feels normal ever.

I’m wondering if this is why.

I’ll report any more dreams though, maybe you’ll get something useful from all this. Science, yeah!!

- Rad Red

— 🫐 —

To: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

From: tater.tot@alumail.com

Subject: Strange Food Dreams

Hello Rad,

that does indeed sound unusual. Maybe this really is something that originated from your bioengineering process? I think at this point your best shot really is to recommend a psychologist sanctioned by Project XERO.

~ Tater 🥔❤️

— 🌶️ —

To: tater.tot@alumail.com

From: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

Subject: Re: Strange Food Dreams

Hello Mx Tater!!

Good news, I just had a dream that helped me figure it all out!

Bad news, solving my problem miiiight take a while.

So: last night I had a dream of a whooole feast!

In front of me, on a long, long table, was everything and anything that you could imagine, all the different foods that can change what you look like, even stuff that we only have during some seasons!!

And I, the dream me, i mean, I just chowed down!! I don’t even know what any of this stuff tastes like, but in the dream it was all soooo delicious? And I gorged myself on everything I could see - berries, mushrooms, veggies and fruits of all sorts, at some point i even stopped peeling them, just. Swallowed them whole! You ever eat so much that at some point you’re not even hungry anymore, you’re just… you’re just. Yearning for more?

I don’t think I was ever hungry. I don’t think this was ever my stomach. I just want what comes after.

So I ate, and ate, and ate, until all the food was GONE. An empty table before me, left nothing but crumbs!

And then, something happened to my body.

My bones crackled and popped, and my muscles stretched to lengths they really, REALLY shouldn’t, like… Have you ever seen how some candy at festivals is made by heating it up and then pulling and pulling and pulling, over and over? That happened, and it felt just as warm, too, like the act created energy, like they say in physics books. And my skin fell loose to the ground, suddenly there was such an insane amount of it, and my teeth all began to ache and shift around my tongue, and then I grew bigger, and bigger, until i could feel the ground shake under me.

My new limbs allow me to feel so much. I can feel the air move between my new spikes and antennae with jarring clarity, I can see everything around me without turning my head, as though I am a bug with composite eyes. I can feel myself grasping and biting with new and different limbs, new and different maw, and I can smell all that I’ve eaten, as though the flavor still hangs in the air.

And then I, me, this me, this old ordinary me, i look up at the new me, after eating and eating and eating, after growing and changing, and you know what?

The new me is… incredible. I the color of the desert sun, I wear it proudly, looking like I’m venomous, even my eyes are black, or discolored or maybe both, and I have so much to see of the world! I am massive, sprawling in all directions, too immense to witness all of myself in one glance, and I feel through this new me… everything. Everything at once. And I feel whole. And I lean down, look at this little boring me, looking up at myself in shock and awe but no fear, and then, in one bite - i am gone. And I don’t know what I should taste like, but the shift, it feels… delicious.

Whatever I had become then, it had devoured what I used to be.

So I’ve realized now what the problem is. This me, the way I am right now, how they made me in the project’s labs, it’s not a finished project, I’m not a final product, I’m half-baked. So all I gotta do is devour my present self and become whole. I gotta make the dream real!!

Gonna go look for trait foods that aren’t too expensive now. So excited!!

- Rad Red

— 🥩 —

To: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

From: tater.tot@alumail.com

Subject: Re: Strange Food Dreams

What? What?? I don’t think that’s normal. I’m informing your doctors.

— 👁️ —

To: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

From: tater.tot@alumail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Strange Food Dreams

Rad Red, where ARE you?? Apparently none of your doctors can reach you. Please, you should talk to someone.

- Tater

— 🫀 —

To: tater.tot@alumail.com

From: idkwhattoputhere@alumail.com

Subject: last message sorry

Hi Mx Tater! I broke into the library again cuz they started looking for me here and I don’t much appreciate that. Sorry, but I have research to do!! Science to conduct! I gotta gather materials, or gather prestige to get materials!!

I can’t really get astatine for a glitch card right now so I can’t do all the weird fun stuff, but with enough hard work i can start buying a bunch of the mushrooms and fruits at least!! I can make prosthetic arms and legs, maybe even eyes? Ears? All to help me look for more trait foods!! And when I have enough to work with, I shall have a feast worthy of a dream!

I’m just writing you so you don’t have to worry about me anymore. And maybe you can tell the doctors to stop looking too. I know what’s wrong now, and I don’t need help with my dreams anymore, so it’s okay! I’m all good! 

I’m gonna find a way, Mx Tater.

I’m going to become Everything.

Wish me luck!

- Rad Red ❤️