[XOTM] Episode 1126 - 'The Stinky Gem-Gobbler"

Episode 1126 of "Cryptids of the AREZ"

"Twilight Carnival Special" - The Stinky Gem-Gobbler

TRANSCRIPT:

(Vaesk'a and Jirrupt are sitting in their 'studio,' which long-time viewers and subscribers know is a desk with inbuilt microphones and two comfy chairs, in the back of Jirrup's electric caravan. Vaesk'a is a korso with a heavilly-striped beak and face, with a camera rig hanging around their shoulders. Jirrupt is a grey varox, unusual for having two sets of tufted ears and a forked tail. He likes to joke that he started to eat his twin in the womb...but couldn't finish the job!)

V: Okay, Jirri. Tell me why we're back in Harbor. Last time we were here for a Twi'val cryptid hunt, it was just a family of Parsifans from waaaaayyyyy out of town.

J: I know, I know. Twilight Carnival is *infamous* for false sightings with cryptozoologists because of all the visiting exofauna. But look at this footage sent in by subscriber and fellow
crypt-hunter, Jinnai Forty-Three!"

<The footage is obviously taken from a booth security cam in a Twilight Carnival holiday marketspace. It is night. Resting on the counter is a lovely array of gift baskets, laden with crystals, gems, and a little rock candy just for the kids. A dark shape flashes past, just out of the corner of the eye. It's seen to hover around the edges of the booth, and then, in an intelligible blur of motion, the baskets have disappeared off the counter, spare quartz and ribbon and marble scattering.>

V: Hoooooo-eee! Look at that dash! Jirrupt, what does that footage look like slowed down?

J: (with exaggerated cheer) Like this, Vaesk!

<Slowed down, the shape of the 'cryptid' is clear. The dark figure has a pale lower body, large pointed ears, and enormous digging claws. It scoops up the handle of one basket, seizes the another in its jaws, stuffs the first basket away....somewhere?...and gallops away on all fours, manic grin obvious around the handle of its ill-gotten gains.>

J: ....damn, what *is* this guy? Those are some huuuge claws...think it's a mineralovore?
V: Could be. And...I'll admit. Now that we've got a pretty good look at this feller, they don't look like [i]any[/i] alien I've ever seen before. And we're SURE this is no known species?
J: The booth runners said there was a...distinct odor lingering around the store when they arrived in the morning. And that six other gem-traders had been hit this week! Friends, if you have any leads or guesses about the identity of this.....malodorous malachite-muncher (V: you're trying too hard, Jirri..), let us know!

~Elsewhere~

Elsewhere, "Jinnai Forty-Three," a pseudo-identity of the Xero commonly known as "Stinky," cackled with laughter. It was a tricky piece of work, convincing (threatening) the booth Xero into putting up the security camera. But when he realized that this duo of podcasters had never seen a Xero before, the lure of the prank was too tempting to resist.

"My legend grows...."

Gnawing on a piece of kunzite (just for the texture, mind you!), Stinky pondered what hoax he'd be preparing for next year's Twilight Carnival.